Biggie Planters: For When Your Plant Dreams Don’t Fit in Regular Pots
So, look... I didn’t plan to become a “plant guy.” Nobody does. One day you’re buying coriander because you saw a recipe on TikTok, next thing you know, you’re arguing with a slug at 6AM like, “How dare you touch my kale.”
But here we are. Welcome to the madness.
And when you’ve finally accepted your fate as an allotment person, you’re gonna run into something I like to call:
The Great Pot Crisis.
The Problem With Normal Planters
You know what I’m talking about. Those little plastic pots? They look like they’re helping. They’re out here like, “Yeah, I’m perfect for herbs and chill vibes!” Meanwhile, your plant is dying like it just paid rent in London.
And every time your plant withers a little, it’s like, “Hey man, could I maybe... breathe?” And you’re like, “I just watered you!” and it’s like, “Cool, but I live in a thimble.”
That’s when you realise:
You need a Biggie.
The Biggie Planter Is Built Different
The first time I saw a Biggie, I didn’t even think it was a planter. I thought it was like... a prop from a Marvel movie? I was like, “Why is there a cauldron in this garden centre? Is someone summoning asparagus spirits?”
But then I got one. And my plants? Oh. They thrived.
Like, they hit puberty overnight. I planted a pepper, and the next day it had opinions and a Spotify playlist.
Here’s why Biggie Planters are lowkey geniuses:
-
Space.
Look, I need space. You need space. Your plants definitely need space. They’ve got roots, and dreams, and ambitions. You stick a tomato in a Biggie, it’s gonna start networking. -
Soil Stability.
The soil stays moist longer. Which means less stress, less watering, and more time to do... literally anything else. Or nothing. I don’t know your life. -
They Don’t Blow Away in the Wind.
Ever have one of those smaller pots just yeet itself across your patio mid-storm like it owed somebody money? Not the Biggie. That thing stays put. It’s basically furniture. -
They Make You Look Like You Know What You’re Doing
People walk by your plot and see that Biggie, and they don’t even question it. They don’t care if you forgot to water the carrots. They’re like, “Whoa. This person? This person is serious.”
Conclusion: Let Your Plants Be Great
Here’s the thing: plants can’t talk. But if they could, yours would be like,
“Look, I’m trying to grow, but I’m doing it in a plastic coffee cup from 2013. Help me help you.”
The Biggie Planter is your answer. It’s not just a planter — it’s a retirement plan for your broccoli. It’s a home. A kingdom. A plant penthouse.
So yeah. Get a Biggie.
And watch your allotment go from “eh, I’m dabbling” to “I am now legally obligated to name my courgettes.”